Today is the first day since Wednesday that I feel like myself again, it’s not easy succumbing to live on pain killers for you to get through, you feel weak and crap for being this way, I missed the small window of opportunity to use my migraine medication when the inkling of a migraine was coming, I guess I was in denial it was week 2 no migraine no way could this be coming back, so the denial happened and I paid for it big time the worse as it brought me back to the reality of what I hadn’t had for a while.
So I faced the world just in a fog was so delicate that I would crumble under pressure, I was frustrated as my brain just didn’t want to work I had to really just take things one thing at a time it was so frustrating and I hate feeling this way, my functioning just doing normal things was gone, I couldn’t stay on task it sucked and I was just exhausted every day since Wednesday I’d just come home and sleep as that was the only relief I felt. Probably due to putting up a wall in front of others that I was fine takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally.
Then the guilt would slip in for being this way, you just feel useless as a mother/wife as you can’t perform your normal duties and you don’t want anyone to touch you, your already so sensitive just someone touching you gently can cause pain.
So it’s Saturday now, I have woken without pain which is soo good, I haven’t been able to run this week so will be taking Rosie tomorrow for a run. My head is still itchy like scratchy which is a reminder to me that my mind health is always lingering in the background, I will be okay though, I just pushed through the last few days, trying to distract my mind which seems to work, timing was perfect as my location at work changed and I didn’t realise how much I missed all my work colleagues until I’m back loving being back where I enjoy the banter and meeting new people it makes me smile and everything doesn’t seem as stressful.
So I’m grateful for the wonderful people I have in my life, you can forget the pain so quickly when happiness and your family and friends make it so worthwhile, the sun is shining it’s a little windy the light is definitely brighter today, feeling good within my self, so enjoy this roller coaster of life, it’s so worth it x