It’s important for me to express that what I do isn’t easy at times, I push myself out of my comfort zone to feel good in my head space.
So it’s my first run since last Sunday, and it was hard work I do it though as once you see how happy it makes my Rosie feel and myself it’s worth the challenge.
I especially love running early of a morning, there isn’t too many people about and I can let Rosie off the lead most of the way for her swim and run home she listens to me as well and she keeps me honest with my running.
So running for me is for me, I’m not a quick runner I don’t put pressure on myself I enjoy the scenery and the moment with background music, which today was Middle Kids which just helps me stay in my zone.
Years ago I would say 10 years, I had this notion to just do things without even really realising what I was getting into.
Some examples would be my first triathlon, I don’t know what I was thinking as I’m not a good swimmer, just survival really, no technique like our children are taught so when the swim part occurred I started to decline very quickly to the point that I made my own stroke up, I can actually remember being told after my son saying Daddy what is mum doing and my husband saying I really don’t know.
This is one of my traits that I actually get from my Dad, just do things without really being too concerned of the outcome just giving it a go, not really planning to much just being in the moment.
That saying around the same time I started to do half marathons, just getting through the 21 kms was hard work I did a few of these until I was told after one of them which I was just totally exhausted, why are you doing this, why are you putting so much pressure on yourself.
I hadn’t really thought about that, I just had this belief that I just should be doing this, they totally exhausted me where I would be literally drained of energy for a few days and for what!!! Self achievement, so from that day I was more kind to myself and just run for myself and my well being, just doing 5 kms can be a challenge.
You have to set yourself goals only little ones and achievable ones if you set them to high it won’t happen.
Like start with today I’m going to walk around the block, it’s a lifestyle change as well, Part of a routine I find with sticking to routine really helps me when I’m starting to not know what to do first, I go back to basics and start my routine from the start, it really does work just doing things the same way.
An update, I’m feeling pretty good the endorphins have set in, I have achieved something for myself I’m looking forward to having a nice Sunday just hanging out being with my family, I have no pain so that’s a bonus, the sun is shining and life is good.
At one stage I wasn’t writing as much as I felt guilty for feeling so good, I didn’t want to rub it in for others that are suffering daily, it makes me sad it’s still the look at me I’m craving attention to no I’m helping others, I’m getting there with this as it is important to let others know there are days of shining light so bright then days where the light is so dim facing the world is a battle.
So please keep facing the world, everyone is so deserving of having that bright light, you really do appreciate the light after having it so dim at times it makes you feel alive. I believe that we can see more brightness then others who haven’t been through the darkness you just feel like everything is so much more brighter and you appreciate these times with your loved ones.