My Mind Health – 28 December 2018 Melbourne Road Trip

This is something different, I like to mix up my writing it’s not all about me just getting through I want to share these special moments so others realise just keep taking one step in front of the other, some steps are heavy others are light.

We wake before the sun rises, these days it takes me me quite some time to get moving whether this is due to having liquid melatonin of a night before I sleep not sure anyway all good I know I’m a lot slower then I was it is what it is.

The sky is just so spectacular with pink scattered across with a mixture of pastels clouds

reflecting off the sun it’s just quite beautiful with the low lying fog it’s really quite special with not much traffic on the road you feel like this is all for us.

We have Triple J playing, my radio station that has been my staple since early teens, I’m in my own little place which seems to be normal these days. I know I’m not completely myself and it annoys me I feel like I’m in a fog struggling to remain present with the now which frustrates me, I am not the nicest either running seems to take the anger out of me it’s hard though when you struggle to have energy just to achieve being myself all day yesterday I was asked your tired aren’t you I just kept lying to myself that no I’m fine knowing if I did succumb to lying down that sleep would be welcome.

I stay hydrated being so careful to not have gluten my lovely migraines haven’t reared it’s ugly head for at least a week and a half so I’m trying not to get too excited.

Waking this morning I know I’m not alone in this journey there are so many others that suffer far worse then myself, I just want others to know or paint a picture of what this mind health really is, that even though we smile it is hard work.

Back to road trip am reminded of our own marriage counselling device we bought over 14 years ago as I couldn’t read maps we would end up in arguments of which street to take to get to our destination in the city Navman we use our smart phones now, gone are the days of let’s just wing it read the signs we have less stress due to these devices.

The sun is magical especially the sparkling effect it has across the water it really is a beautiful day the simplicity of nature, I know we are living in a great place to have all these beautiful wonders just all around us.

The traffic is building even at this early hour, I imagine others on the road going to their own destination be it work or holiday, this would be the normal travel for some.

First stop McDonalds at Blacktown which was good, thirty minutes later back in travelling to our destination, my GF option was bacon and egg which was fine no problem at all.

Kids are all hyped up after breakfast we still have 8.5 hours to go the weather is beautiful sun shining it’s going to be a warm one today.

We are 3.40 hrs into our trip leaving this morning at 4.51 am the beauty of technology we are listening to a podcast no filter barefoot investor for families a new road rule has been in forced this school holidays no eating or drinking while driving, we had a van in front of us swerve over to the middle of the road once we overtook could see this person trying to navigate breakfast confirming why this has been put in place.

It’s 9 am temperatures are hot already with our destination Melbourne predicted reaching scorching 40+ degrees we can feel the heat coming through the windows of the car the landscape is quite dry with distant wind turbines in faraway fields sheep feeding in fields along the way.

I’m trying to stay awake, I could easily just crash for some shuteye we will be stopping soon to stretch our legs.

Second stop Gunning small town for a coffee and toilet stop Merino Cafe was quaint had the most delicious looking cakes and a beautiful black little cat with bright yellow eyes that we enjoyed having cuddles with.

There was a pub with a muriel painted on the side which I took a few photos of.

Gosh it’s amazing what some sugar and coffee does to perk you up, was literally getting ready for a nap now I’m not too bad, so on we could continue …

The countryside is changing looking more baron still pretty, we are witnessing some truly awesome driving from others which is annoying.

I have constant reminders of my twenties with Dandy Warhols playing, I was lucky to meet this band one night when they played in Newcastle with my brother was when I was working for the Bus Company one of the drivers also did security which worked in my favour, that was a great night hanging out just the two of us.

With a half hour nap I wake to some clouds and rolling hills, Gundagai we past which is pretty from our view lots of sheep in paddocks reminds me of the way to Scamander when we were there last in August, time just gets away.

It’s 11 am and 38 degrees we are comfortable with the air conditioning, feel for others who don’t have this luxury, we are approaching Holbrook for lunch it has the black submarine where we called in the last road trip we did nearly two years to Tassi to spend Christmas with family.

Growing up we were fortunate enough to spend school holidays at the coast where majority of my family live now, we had little family rituals at times travelling to our holiday destination when it was the right time of year we would pull up at a particular property whether going to or coming from if it was coming home fish would be given to the owners of the cottage from dads latest catch, in exchange for some persimmons that we would pick off this one tree over the years just one of the many memories I have of what we did as a family travelling to the coast, it’s good to remember the little things.

We just had a refreshing lunch at Holbrook home to the black submarine, definitely in holiday mode with lots of people watching done.

Just crossed the Victoria border so destination is coming closer, still 200 kms away the cherries I purchased are Devine in flavour every time I have another one I think the flavour can’t get any better yet it does. There are constant reminders of my dad and the rituals of what we did like the purchase of cherries at Christmas time was always a must, I love that I will always have these memories of what we had, I know in time the sadness will be taken over with happiness just time is still to be had.

Just listened to a podcast on No Filter which was very powerful I can’t help that I feel so strongly with anything that I relate to it’s just me and I can’t change, what the message I got from it was we all need to help each other, it’s the way that a ripple will start then a wave will begin.

We are getting closer to Melbourne it’s 39 degrees 41 just an hour ago this time last year we were overseas in freezing conditions with a lot of snow so it’s quite the extreme.

I’m not feeling like the nicest person, I’m very paranoid and sensitive anything is taken the wrong way so then I feel like crap for causing this, can feel the heat coming off the windows the countryside is dry yet green there are clouds scattered above trying to smother the blue sky.

I’ve offered to drive all day, to give husband a break which is quite frustrated as I feel like I’m being judged for my writing as he drives when I’m not writing I’m consumed with my own thoughts and this seems like the only thing that makes me feel okay, I’m glad we are doing something different we all needed an out a distraction from home and our chores.

Any comment I make is taken in the wrong context, that’s okay I’m not going to not be me, the temperature has hit 42 degrees the closer we get to Melbourne the hotter it’s becoming.

Prior to this post I wrote my thoughts on how not merry Christmas is, not just my family a lot of others as well, at first I was like I’m such a downer being all sad, I know there would be a lot of others with special ones not being there so I will share this realness of the un merry Christmas it can be when loved ones aren’t here anymore to share this time with us.

We are finally down to double digits it’s 3.24 pm the temperature is still rising the heat has melted the blutack off our etag which is a concern.

Well my writing has kept me distracted with Day One of Melbourne done, until next time shine as bright as you can be.

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