What can I say to make me have energy to want to get through, I’m smiling on the outside struggling on the inside, yesterday is the start of a new year everything should be wow let’s start this one great positivity plus, I am not myself at the moment I struggle with normality I could sleep forever, I just have no go in me, I have all these goals I want to achieve and my mind just can’t gather enough momentum for me to even put one in place, it’s my first day back at work I’m going to see how this goes.
I have been so good with not having any gluten this holidays, I will be devastated if my migraines come back as this will tip me over the edge with frustration of what else could this be.
Oh well, I’m going back to my tools, checking my Confidence Book first thing then using my oils, taking all my antidepressants then my supplements.
This journey isn’t easy, at times I only feel like I’m half of me the fatigue is exhausting.
Yesterday I just did little stints then rest each time, the trouble is when I rested I wanted to sleep, so if I did sleep I didn’t want to wake it just seemed to be a viscous cycle.
Okay the time is now, I’m going to just put one foot in front of the other and do my best.
This was this morning, looking back it was a real effort to just get out the door, the thing is once I was out that door on my way to work I started to love the scenery I was taking in, the rolling hills green with lots of feed the animals that are just so natural with such beauty, the baby animals starting to explore the peacefulness of the countryside with my music in the background distraction happened, walking in the door to work I lost the sense of fatigue felt good to use my brain was happy to not have to ponder on things I just got things done, felt confident, asked questions instead of sitting on things overthinking.
I know this is a little cliche, this morning when I opened my little book of confidence to a random page, this is what I read:
Confidence is sexy on the left hand side.
The right hand page read:
What I find powerful is the person with confidence to be her own self.
By Oprah Winfrey
It made me realise that just being honest about how my life is will show my strengths and my weaknesses it’s who we are, I learn everyday that there are others that are probably suffering more, they may choose to keep this hidden, completely their choice, it’s my choice to share this journey, I’m at times frustrated with the unknown I know I’m not alone, the beauty that has been shown to me is special and unique 2019 I have more energy to just take one day at a time.