From Light to Bright

My brain has been in a fog since Thursday last week, I had my 13th Neurofeedback session on Friday, I was not well at the time, today is the first day I feel like I can write again, you don’t realise how much your body health contributes to your brain health, I seriously have struggled with the concept of concentrating or staying on task, it really does impact on just being you.

I have wanted to do lots of things, just sleeping has been the only thing that is the most beneficial or non exhausting that I have achieved even reading a book is an effort.

So I’m feeling good again today, I’ve just had my 14th Neurofeedback Session due to my sickness the training wasn’t easy if anything exhausting, progress that I achieved the few weeks prior has to be gained again, that’s fine it is what it is.

Once again, I am grateful for the love and support I receive, the services I have to get me better, there are others out there that I know would be struggling with similar sickness, so if sharing this can help others, give them hope well it’s worth it.

During the last week, I haven’t had any of my symptoms of depression or anxiety which is a relief a test to the Neurofeedback that it’s working, myself being proof.

Life is now a new challenge, that anything is possible, to believe in yourself, to never give up, go out of your comfort zone to share your own thoughts and beliefs.

I did my first run since our return tonight, loved the coolness in the air, felt like I was getting back to me again, Rosie was pretty happy about running with me as well, she got to swim in the water hole that I take her to.

I’m tired now, it’s been a big week just now, I’m looking forward to being back on my new routine of work again, using my brain, enjoying the business of getting through things.

I thought of Dad a lot when we were away, especially when I was snorkelling, with fish constantly in my view, I wondered what it was that fascinated him or consumed him with fishing, was it the catching of a fish, was it the calmness of waiting looking into water, the excitement of getting a bite, I wish I knew why, I never asked him questions like this, I regret the not asking, I am really fascinated in my upbringing, learning new things when I hear them from Mum, it really is interesting.

Take time to ask these questions, don’t be afraid, I feel like at times we as children were not privy to what was really going on, that we were seen not to be heard, I get this keeping us innocent, there is so much I want to learn about who I am, so I can pass this information on to my children, to keep ourselves forever alive not forgotten.

Tuesday 11 June 2019

I must apologise, I haven’t been able to write lately let alone function properly, when your immune is down which happened while departing Fiji you are prone to any bugs that could be had while flying, unfortunately there were bugs in our plane so this is how I ended up pretty sick, finally finishing with a sinus infection, which I have been on antibiotics since Saturday and it’s now Tuesday night, I’m just starting to feel like myself again.

When your sick, you can’t imagine what it’s like to feel healthy again. Your just low, it’s amazing how quick you forget this feeling of sick once it’s gone, your appetite comes back with energy for burning again.

In saying this, yes I have been sick, my brain has been functioning really well, if anything better, I’m so happy with where I’m at in my current mind Heath it’s something that is giving me confidence within myself, the future is something that I can be excited about, new challenges for myself, I never thought I would ever be back to this state, I know I’m improving.

You know I haven’t been able to listen to some of the early Cure music, I’m thinking the time might be right to listen to The Cure again.

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