From Light to Brighter

Life just throws you curve balls, you start getting yourself on track then things go left wing so you are the worst parent ever, so after life lessons which aren’t easy these days especially when electronics are involved with social media our children are still so young not mature enough for these platforms, it’s really scary how this is changing their personalities, the thought of them having to talk to someone freaks them out, this really concerns me as a mother, our kids are becoming so disconnected with life and communication with real people.

So I’m using my oils to breathe through the touch of anxiousness I am feeling, as well as yoga, I know I have to change my mindset or I will be too consumed with the events that happened this morning. So off I go one foot in front of the other, music in the background I’m getting through this ….

Yoga came through for me, it got me into a calmer mindset which I then achieved my tasks prior to going out, I still am a little Light headed, that’s cool this is just how we can be at times distracted with normal life events that test our ability to keep our cool in situations that could easily elevate our anger.

From my 17th Session of Neurofeedback the past few days with how I have dealt with dramas at home confirms I am definitely on a different pathway then my previous old paths, it’s really interesting how the brain works, I now can process a situation instead of struggling with my emotions.

I really feel we are becoming disconnected with Life, I can see that technology is good in some ways yet it is causing issues for the younger ones coming through, the pressure of the presence, the non existent talking one on one, the social part of the brain if not used will not developed properly, hence why this makes it more difficult.

Wednesday 3 June 2019

Hi, I really have missed my writing, it’s been on my mind it’s like my head fills up and I need to empty these thoughts that are swimming around and around.

So the words are just flowing now as I haven’t done this for a few days, I know it’s my own therapy to do this and I’m already starting to feel lighter with just the start.

I guess I have been consumed with other thoughts then my own, as above we have had some technical issues which at times you feel like bad parents, it saddens you that your loved ones can be addicted to something that is not real, life lessons with this, I have learnt that the more wider the parameters are set the further they will be tried and tested, things have settled down now, it did take a few days, some real heart to heart moments as well.

Lately my old thoughts have been trying to poke into my new thought patterns, it hasn’t been easy to not be consumed by them to feel the old habits trying to change these patterns,

I just have to realise at the time that this occurs that the situations are different to previous times, that I’m going to have dejavu moments to look at them as not having the heaviness of what they were to not overthink these thoughts.

It was really good sharing these moments today, as when this does happen I am frustrated with myself for being this way so I just need to take a breath not over analyse as times have changed, be content with where I’m at, what I have achieved.

Another achievement which is very surreal, I’m reducing my medication as advised by my Dr it is a very slow process which will be worth everything that I have gone through.

Reducing my medication from 200 mg of Zoloft to 150 mg for the next few months are steps for me that is making this journey of overcoming depression real.

Determination, not giving up has always just kept me putting that one foot in front of the other, as cliche as it sounds that really is the truth.

I get tired after my Neurofeedback Sessions, it is like I’m doing exercises for my brain, sleep is a welcome relief, I’m really strong on my self discipline for getting enough sleep each night with having my liquid melatonin it pretty much knocks me out for the night.

Thursday 4 July 2019

Today is a new day, enjoy the now… I currently have my big boy Leo meowing next to me so I lost my train of thought, I am excited for the future my goals that I set for myself are being achieved, patience is something that I have knowing I’m finding myself again. No quick fixes little steps to make this happen.

My Skincare is another journey in itself, as this has been another part of getting my confidence back, there are times when I could easily say it’s too hard, there are definitely more no thank you then yes I would love to, I’m determined though as I truly believe you need to feel good on the outside to have the flow on effect, it’s not easy having set backs especially with how I have been it plays havoc with my mind, I’m not giving up though, the benefits out weigh this.

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