Friday 5 July 2019 Day 2 Reducing my medication
Today I woke, didn’t take me forever to get moving. Normally I’m trying to get everything done to get out the door, there was no anxiousness at all. My kids are on School Holidays maybe that’s why, I’m getting them to do the things that I normally do.
I felt alive today driving my normal road, everything seemed picturesque there was a thick fog so my view looked like masterpieces that I could easily see framed. I stopped twice, once to see the Bisons that I haven’t seen since September last year, they are beautiful beasts so powerful to be not many feet away from them, I felt aware of the strength that yes I’m standing behind a fence, that if they wanted they could easily take me out the fence is just for looks.
I took my photos, then continued on.
Running down the stairs, I definitely had a spring in my step, more energy then I have had in such a long time I cannot believe the difference in me.
It really is amazing how much we are driven by our brain, that by changing my old neuropaths creating new neuropaths I’m living a life with confidence, loving to really test my ability to problem solve, wanting to learn more, the list can be endless as I have no limits to what I can achieve, I’m on a high that takes my breath away.
Writing for me is a way of capturing events that you can easily be forgotten it’s the little moments that you laugh with your kids when funny things happen, usually around simple life events, like taking our big cat to the vets.
Saturday 6 July 2019
I’m on another level, sitting here realising this, it’s not till you verbally say the words then see the surprise on the other persons face that it’s the real deal as they can see I’m a different person is confirming there is a cure, wow I have been wanting to use this word cure for so long, it means so much to me there is a long history of memories, lifetime experiences it is giving me goosebumps saying this in my head, for me The Cure was music that was different that not everyone was into, I liked that, as it’s good to be different I liked the alternative music that can make you feel alive, that you can escape and be this person that only some know you to be. Whenever I have struggled in life music was there for me, it could make you happy when you were sad, it could give you energy when you didn’t have any, it got you through times knowing you are not alone, that’s what I’ve learnt the last two years, that as long as your not alone, you can get through the waves of despair knowing there is always someone else going through much worse.
Last night I watched Mystify the Michael Hutchence Documentary, can I say all emotions were felt through this, to the point that I just felt dark sadness of despair, it’s hard not to feel emotional when you can see such beautiful people feel so alone, such talent, it brought back memories of when I saw INXS in concert I could remember what I wore it was mystical going back there to that night, I was only in Year 8 they were my first real band that I loved The Swing was my favorite album for a long time, this was before I got into The Cure, Nirvana, Pixies all the alternative music that I so adored and still do.
Monday 8 July 2019
I’m proud to say that I have got myself to a place where I have wanted to be for a very long time, it wasn’t easy I will never forget the roller coaster it has taken for me to be where I’m at determination, hard work, hope, never giving up.
I have my supplements daily, eat gluten free, go to sleep the same time each night with liquid melatonin, exercise when I can, try and not overdo myself with big days, just know my limits.
Enjoy your week, life is about the ups and the downs.