Being consistent isn’t easy, especially with the history you have with depression as fatigue is another lovely part of this illness, which is hard to explain as it’s not something that stands out like a broken arm, you feel exhausted to do the most simplest of things, then guilty as you know others think you are just plain lazy at times.
I’m not in that head space anymore, I’m in a head space where I’ve got more energy, don’t get me wrong I can’t run for more than around 5 kms, I will increase this duration as the more confident I get with not feeling like all my energy has been used up on that one exertion.
I have just done my yoga for the day, if I wake early I take advantage of the time to either fit in some me time this could be a number of things, yoga, writing, my r+f skincare, it’s purely my time to reflect on where I’m at in my life.
It breaks my heart as I know of others suffering that same darkness, they are the most beautiful ones that are trying to do their best with the situation they are in, I’m hoping the more I write about the realness of this that they take that step forward to overcome the impossible, as I really believe there is hope, we have to give ourselves that tiny speckle of light that it will get better, so my desire is to just keep sharing my words to keep giving other beautiful ones no matter where you are at, don’t ever give up, trust in yourself that depression or anxiety is something that yes we can remain stuck in those paths, it’s about getting out of those paths, my psychology sessions I attend weekly is allowing me to give others hope as the Neurofeedback I receive is life changing.
We only live once, don’t dwell in this darkness, take the next steps to overcome the impossible, yes it’s inconvenient, you have to put the effort in the hard yards to get through the crap, I’m no one special, I’m a person, mother, wife, friend, I’m no superstar I’m just normal. I saw something one day and if you don’t ask or go out if your way to help yourself no one else is going to do this for you, you are the only one that can make this change.
There are ways of making our life’s better, you don’t have to be made of gold, I’m not, we are working parents trying to make life better for our kids, it just takes time, effort, believing the impossible is possible.
Tuesday 16 July 2019
Knowing your limits at times isn’t the easiest for anyone, tonight I was determined after I got home from work to go for a run with my Rosie girl around the block before it was dark.
Not sure if I just pushed myself that little bit harder, when I stopped for a moment I felt sick in the tummy, I tried to run again with no success so I walked home the rest of the way.
I knew then that I had overdone it, that I really need to not get too excited to achieve everything, that I still have to be careful not to overdo it, so coming home I realised that I had well and truly used all my energy, I was very dehydrated so drank a lot of water, I felt sick still so I just laid down, my head hurts as well.
Anyhow, I’m still pleased for achieving what I have.
Today at work, I tested my memory with tasks, I was confident in all my areas, this is another achievement and I’m so pleased, to have this confidence again is the best feeling, I can’t put words to it, just makes me smile.
Thursday 18 July 2019
20 sessions of Neurofeedback !!!
The place I’m at is where I never thought I could possibly be, to know where I’m at is so exciting, I’m really grateful.
It’s worth putting aside a day a week to make that effort of being consistent turning up to this appointment, trusting that there is that light for changing your current mind state.
I’m so excited and happy, I’m feeling emotions that I haven’t felt in a long time, enjoying music that beats through me, it’s like I can see more clearly that I’m back to the person I was where yes at times I’m clueless with things, that was me and it reminds me of how sheltered we were growing up not having so much in front of us just natural surroundings of life, doing things instead of watching screens, exploring, using our minds to discover and learn for ourselves.
I’m down to half hour sessions as of next week, this is real the changes can be seen, hope can get you to the next level.