From Brightest to Sparking

Checking in this week, I haven’t been writing about my depression this week as I’ve been trialing a different way to reach out to my friends through FB with my Skincare which is another side of me that has helped me as well to walk out the front door.

This week there has been a lot of I am so proud of myself moments as my determination and life journey for one of my own has been rewarded.

Do not give up on searching what you believe isn’t the answer, I never gave up on my grey one I just knew something wasn’t right.

So if your not happy with one opinion, look for another one, as you know deep down that everyone is a different make, that what can work for one may not work for the other.

I am down to half hour sessions with my Neurofeedback, the switch has been changed as soon as I am plugged into the EEG through sensors placed on different areas of my scalp, the beeping just goes off, rewarding me with the sound of I’ve come so far.

I can actually now feel the pulsing sensation in my head it’s quite a feeling, it’s like I am in control of what lies before me.

That’s what has been a huge aha moment, knowing I’m in control as this is huge.

It’s the unknown of Depression, that scares the bejesus out of you, that one day you can feel like nothing is wrong, then the next your struggling to just be, to roll out of bed, to breathe the list goes on.

I know there are so many others suffering, some so close it breaks me at times, I just want to scream to not give up!!!! Gosh if I can get to this place, anyone can, we don’t have to suffer alone, we can share that we are feeling not good, if someone else then reciprocates this back it can just take the edge off that craziness.

Such basic things can make a huge difference to ones own thoughts, you can be told by others that they are worried, it’s like you don’t want to bother others that it’s all in your head, just do little steps, get that foot one in front of the other, you mean so much to the ones that love you, trust me on this.

So I’ve just got back from my Sunday run with my Rosie, our furries are such inspiration, they are such beautiful souls.

Just getting your heart rate up can change the way your mind feels letting in those happy endorphins.

Little steps beautiful people, listen to the Music that makes you feel alive, this life is just flying so fast, at times it’s so scary how quick my children are growing up.

I know that I am doing my best, that hopefully me writing these words are helping others, that these days we can be so connected with each other even though we are so far away.

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