Nervous energy is bubbling inside me this morning, change is always something that effects everyone differently.
I’m feeling sad, I’m not feeling as guilty anymore as I feel after yesterday I’m okay now to be honest with my beauties which that was the one thing I didn’t like not being honest, so that’s good.
Nothing serious has happened we are all still healthy and I know that everyone will be placed and new beginnings will occur.
You just get used to being around beautiful people they become your family, you spend a lot of time with them so knowing that this is changing and not having that control is sad.
It’s life though really it puts things into perspective of how enjoying your environment is important and I’ve learnt so many valuable skills and life lessons with all the beauties.
Nothing like a change to put some stress in your body, this will be fine, sometimes you can look at this as a cleansing experience, gosh you have to take a positive from this in some way.
I’m feeling better uploading these thoughts, my nervous energy is starting to decline which is great, we are all healthy there are and will be new opportunities for all of us, the experience we have gained and learnt from each other is so valuable we will be forever connected with this.
I’m feeling grateful that I have had such a wonderful work life with the years I have been employed, everyone is here for each other, I have such great respect for the environment of wonderful beauties.
Yes, my nervous energy has now gone, just getting these thoughts out of my head has helped considerably I’m very excited for the future, challenges are welcomed, doing what is best for me and my fam is the most important thing at present, so I’ve come this far, walked those steps each time they are heavy, new opportunities for us, utilising what I have been taught over the years, being grateful of where I’m at, always being supported in a way that I struggled with knowing now that it was to help me get through the stress of life, yes I am passionate if we weren’t then it wouldn’t show how much we care about what we do, I feel for others the shock of change, I was already in a different mindset, for me it was still hard to process, what the beauties must feel is 10 times worse not having any idea, that sudden change in your future, the unknown, the loss of control, there are so many thoughts I’m sure of racing through, we will all be there for each other, helping us achieve the next steps, supporting as much as we can, just encouraging the beauties to move forward to the next stage in our careers.
Sunday 6 October 2019
This is the first time that I feel I can just stop, the week was crazy, the nervous energy just smashed me, I was totally consumed with change, accepting this as best I could, going through each process knowing each time I can only do my best.
Appetite was distracted by nerves, knowing that I had hurdles to overcome was eating me up at times.
I can only do my best, I can’t erase what I have overcome to get to this place, honesty is just being real.
I’m still not totally through the finish line, I just have to believe that it is what it is, that I can only do my best, that if I don’t get the green light then it just wasn’t meant to be.
I can’t change where I have been, there is only the now and the future, believing I am capable of new beginnings is something that I have been setting myself little goals, realising that if you just keep fine tuning and doing the right thing as best as you can, others will fully support you, as I would always do the same.
I still get frustrated with how closed we are to opportunities, I don’t get why it takes so much effort for others to just listen to what could help them. We are so busy being busy that we aren’t taking the time to help each other, we can all help each other, is this why we are becoming disconnected at times by just not having time to speak, gone are the days of just catching up, we are all so busy, it has to change, we need to change so our kids understand that there is more to life then screens, that we don’t have to worry about image as such, we just need to enjoy watching that movie without the distraction of notifications.
I try so hard to get others to listen, to do something extra, to take risks, it is exhausting getting commitments I’m shut down immediately, it’s hard to not take this personal, it makes me realise how wired we are that as soon as we make up our minds there is no changing the course of what is perceived, we need to think outside the square, we need to try new things, be open to change, welcome challenges instead of Groundhog Day.
No one can do this for us, we are the only ones that can make this happen.
Don’t assume the other person will do this, it doesn’t have to be huge just even an attempt to listen or turn up.
I hope that we don’t just keep assuming, just be real, make efforts, try new things, believe that actually the impossible is possible, trust others who are trying to achieve small goals, give them the time as hard as this can be, just be open to trying something perceived as being common, help each other to achieve small dreams.
My head hurts a-bit after these thoughts are leaving my mind space, it really confirms what life issues there are, that we are so wired with being cautious that this doesn’t leave room for the unknown or risk taking or trying something different.
I worry what messages this is teaching our kids, with us not being open to change, it concerns me as I feel this can effect real potential, we need to be showing them that risks are worth it, that life isn’t just handed to us, that we have to work for where we want to be, we need to show them that it’s hard, it can hurt at times, we also need to just be real.