Sunday 10 November 2019
I’m feeling Bright maybe some others are not …. and this is why I write what is real, the truth that is out there.
I get these gut feelings at times about others that are close to me, it niggles me to the point that I check in to make sure they are okay, as I know there is a reason I have these feelings, I just can’t ignore them.
And my gut is always right, so this mind health, depression not only effects just me and I’m in a place where I thought was never possible, I never gave up on myself I knew that I had to show my own that we can beat this inner darkness, what hope do they have if us as there confidants leave them in despair.
It felt at times I was so alone, it wasn’t till I started to write my inner thoughts and share them that the commonness of this illness was shared upon.
I may be in the best place, which I am grateful for, I worked my but off though and there were times that I could of easily crossed that line of is this worth it.
Guess what !! It is, I know now that if I leave this place I have given my utmost to help others, to just be real and acknowledge what this is, it’s not something to be ashamed of, even though gosh there still is stigma, it’s about being honest with yourself, I can’t take anything back over the last few years of where I have been, no one knows these feelings unless you have been there yourself and the crazy thing is it comes in so many different shapes and colours, not one person will have the same experiences as we are all so different.
Please speak up and ask anyone that you can see is struggling to let them know they are not alone, yes we are talking more which is awesome and I’m pleased, just knowing you are not alone can be a huge brick off your shoulder, I know this.
So Me, I’ve just come back from my Sunday run I’m no runner far from it, my Rosie girl loves me for it and she cries now until I take her, I’m still going to keep sharing my inner thoughts I know I’m helping others even if it’s not acknowledged and I’m okay with this, we have to keep being real about where we are at, I’m standing here breeze nice and cool listening to AFI blasting in my head reminiscing where I have been and where I am, music is something that I can escape to, let my emotions just slip out and explode onto my finger tips, the relief I get from this is lightning the heaviness, it’s amazing the feels I get, it’s like my time, and this is the now and let’s not give up on what is important to us, our loved ones, life ….