Changing Colours

Today has been big ….

I’m excited with my Neurofeedback 5 weeks since my last session, brain is doing well, if not better up to 31 sessions as of today.

I am on the countdown to finishing these sessions, originally it was between 30-40 sessions it could be getting reduced to 35.

So I feel like I have a new brain, refurbished if anything, I’m craving for knowledge I want to learn more about life, share my inner thoughts of where I’m at.

I do believe we are on pathways that are guiding us to help navigate us and others to share our own thoughts and experience as I know now why I have gone through what I have and there is more to come in this ever involving world we live in with its everyday challenges.

Getting back to what is important to me is my health as if I’m not on top of this I can’t be a good mother to my kids or wife to my husband.

There were moments this week where things aligned and I know now that I’m not getting too excited for the next phase, just feeling relieved that maybe this will be easier for some as life is a inner struggle and it breaks my heart at time to witness this and all you want to do is make it better, it’s just not that simple, so learning and being more confident in this area I’m hoping this will make the grey become more black and white.

So always follow your gut and speak the truth, I know I’ve been holding this in as tears just rolled down my cheek at times from the release of the build up kept inside, without knowing we worry internally it was a mixture of relief and sadness.

We all are special and unique everyone one of us, we have to be content with what we have, knowledge is knowing more and giving confidence to those that are in denial.

I personally am in a good place, it feels good to get these thoughts out, they aren’t dark anymore, the bottomless pit is not in my sights anymore, my direction has shifted and life is not just for me, I’m not toxic which is great, my meditation has been another practice that has helped me achieve my goals with neurofeedback as I’m in that place where I need to train my brain to get into that state of peace through breathing.

I noticed this at my current session that I could get into my zone.

When I’m meditating listening to my headspace, I can feel the tension melt out of places where I hold this, it hasn’t been a quick process it’s a daily ritual that I do for 10 minutes and I definitely notice this at work when I really need to zone into tasks.

So an update, I’m gluten free, I take all B supplements in liquid form, magnesium, zinc, silver, and vitamin C.

I also am still on my Zoloft 150 mg a day, I’m okay with remaining on this medication as I know it balances my brains seratonin levels.

I have liquid melatonin of a night, and I try to keep my sleep the same as I still get exhausted from big days.

I know my limits with exercise, if I run in the morning I’m exhausted in the afternoon, I’m best to do yoga instead.

Still love my music I have just got back from my mid morning run with Rosie, some oldies came on that made me run that little bit faster, Powderfinger, Silverchair, Superjesus, Smashing Pumpkins the heaviness made me smile.

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