Feeling loved

Thursday 7 May 2020
I have woken today knowing that I am loved, my head still a bit sore which is fine as I have a plan.
I know why I get migraines, it’s stress, that’s pretty much it and if you have tools in place then it doesn’t seem as bad as you know it’s temporary.
So, I have been reading and listening to a pod cast which helps me, Eckhart Tolle and it’s about teaching yourself to be in the now, yesterday I did a lot of back to basics things to just cope with my mind, so I thought I’d share this with you.
I know everyone is different and what works for me may not work for some, it’s how I got through to feeling that little lighter.
Communication is big, being honest and real with others helps me to not feel like I’m failing.
I have a head space app for mindfulness, I’ve nearly done 800 minutes this has taken practice and I know this helps, I can choose what one I need for my current situation, stress/breathing/pain there are so many to choose from – I have my space where I sit and not be disturbed and it works, breathing let’s my shoulders suddenly melt down when I’m doing this.
I’ve realised now I have to make time for myself to not push this aside, everything can wait.
So I’m feeling better sharing this, already which is great.
I listened to calming music all day, which also just helped with my getting through.
I went back to writing to do lists and crossing off what I achieved.
I made sure I had me time by watching some Netflix just for an hour.
I got tea done early so I could make sure I wasn’t late to bed.
I did yoga after tea, it really helped me to feel like I had done some sort of exercise.
Running at the moment isn’t worth the exhaustion I get from doing it whereas yoga is still getting the endorphins just not getting fatigued.
This is really important, I always have my medication which is Zoloft, I know this keeps me balanced, I have my supplements each day Vitamin Bs, zinc, magnesium, silver, cod liver oil (brain health) vitamin C.
Night time I have Silver/B6,B5 and liquid melatonin to help me to sleep.
This has helped all of us at times.
I only eat gluten free, I try not to eat processed food and I have almond milk in my coffee.
I normally push through the pain of my headache like I want to be a hero, no now I just take the painkiller straight away as pain isn’t nice for anyone and if a tablet can get you out if this then so be it.
Also, I had a session with my Psychologist a zoom session, I read to him what I wrote and he worked out where I was at and why, this is the education that helps me understand that I’m not going crazy (which I will screen shot) knowing that there is a reason you are feeling this way does help, and also why I share as I know I’m one of the lucky ones that have such great support networks. He just explained that I’m normally in the middle zone and due to everything that has been going on in life I have crept out of this zone, there were signs I just didn’t see them or feel them and after discussing this with my hippie they did appear just not the same, until after the fact.
My kiddies were amazing, being honest and letting them know I’m not feeling right made them realise I needed help, they both studied out of their rooms and were rewarded. I am so proud of them, they make me smile.
So this is it, I’m definitely feeling less fatigued, am going to start today with a little more spring in my step and be grateful of how I am feeling.

Sunday 10 May 2020
An update of my week and where I’m at, I’m at such a better head space now which I’m really relieved at how quickly I got back to this state.
I put it to hitting rock bottom then acknowledging the fact then putting the tools in place to overcome this moment.
Not putting pressure on myself and just understanding that I had missed triggers which you don’t realise happen.
Being okay with not being okay and just doing my best.
Friday was my best day, I ended up doing a small run which obviously the mix of endorphin release and running into a close loved one while on this run put me into a place where I was feeling really happy and proud.
I still have to remember that having big days are going to effect the next day as it is what it is.
Speaking and knowing I’m not alone really helped, the stigma is definitely starting to shift I can feel, see and hear this which is massive, I am ever so grateful for the love I have received it shows that times are changing, that there is hope for our children growing into adults that just being real and honest will help overcome the unknown of what is happening at times to each of us, that the little things are so important, the simplicity of a flower can bring you back to being in the now.
I had time to smell the roses as such with this beautiful flower yesterday birds of prey, the colours are amazing.

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