I feel like I’ve lost my mojo with my writing or is it that I keep quite busy these days that I don’t need to spill my thoughts who knows.
I learnt a bit about my Mum today which I love it makes me smile to learn about family where things begin.
I know it’s not easy for my Mum attending events now without Dad it’s like no one sees her anymore that she doesn’t exist. I know how hard it is remembering times of long ago.
I see it in her eyes as she is in another place where she feels she was complete.
I was so proud of her today, I told her how good she looked and I stood by her protecting her or just being the other part she needed to feel whole in these moments.
When we are together just her and I it’s special you see a side of her that she hides at times such a loving side and I learn why I am so like her with our ways not sewing that’s for sure she is so skilled at that she has been making blankets for others overseas that don’t have anything and they are so good, I’m so proud of her.
She made me one it’s a cat one and every night I curl up on the lounge with my blankie sometimes my Leo cat who is a big cat comes and snuggles up to me as well.
I knew the pain would come today it is what it is and you don’t realise how much you internalise thoughts until you are shivering with those deep emotions knowing that you have been here before and to be strong for others.
So tonight I ran with my Rosie, I love this time it’s like you are in your own moment it’s peaceful yet thrilling at the same time – normally I be listening to music that screams emotions and powers me through with the heaviness tonight I just wanted Something for Kate one of the classics.
I’m definitely in a better place these days, I don’t loose myself anymore to the darkness.
I work hard at it, I’m always trying different things as science is amazing and can change your life.
I know now that there are reasons for things happening for me going to places where no one should go, you know if I hadn’t you don’t really appreciate the good as much.
Just remember we are all so different, so what works for me may not work for you. So if your trialling something and you know it’s not for you – try something else and keep searching to you find what is right for you !! It’s so worth it – believe me I know.